There is No Stopping in the Red Zone

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about facing the things that scare us, that challenge us or make us nervous.

Just do it anyway.

So tomorrow, I’m doing it.

I’ve waited for this day since my accident. Tomorrow, I go in for my cranioplasty.

Yes, friends, tomorrow I officially become the Bionic Woman…She who is able to fly, leap buildings in a single bound, and fears no stray elbows or oversize handbags!

So what is a cranioplasty, you ask? I am pretty sure they took a CT of my head a few weeks ago, then sent the scans to a top-secret factory, where wizards create each unique piece out of magic and butterflies.

Or, a company makes the piece out of a special composite, designed to fit perfectly over the hole currently in my skull. The surgeon will then attach the piece with titanium screws. The doctors have all been very concerned about making sure I understand that the screws will NOT set off the airport metal detectors.

WHEW. THANK GOD.

Now that I am clear on that, can someone please let me know how the rest of my life will be with this plate in my head?

Anyway.

I am scared, yes. But, I need this. Not only to make my skull complete again, but to move on with the rest of my life. I am more than ready to have this last physical milestone behind me.

No, the consequences of my injury won’t magically resolve with this surgery. I still have a lot of work to do on my speech. But, the surgery will let me resume the things I am passionate about, like riding. And that goes a long way toward making a person feel whole.

Once I can successfully put this behind me, I can continue to work hard on my speech. And believe me, I work HARD. I’m always, always practicing.

So – I’ll face my nerves tomorrow. And once that’s over, I’ll keep facing my nerves in different ways – talking as much as I can. Speaking even in situations that make me scared – unlike my surgery, not scared of something physical but of failure. I’ll do it because I have to in order to get back to the things I used to take for granted.

I can promise I’m not going to take those things for granted again.

Having a voice again provides a sense of freedom, though it’s still hard to have so much work left to do. But – I’m looking forward to the freedom that this surgery will offer me again.

And you know, going through the airport metal detector.

freedom

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3 thoughts on “There is No Stopping in the Red Zone

  1. Stay brave. We will all be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to having your hard head back amongst us. And in a few days or weeks, you can write in your blog for others to know what it feels like to have that composite in your head. I’m hoping you won’t even know it’s there after a bit. Fondly, Margie

  2. I do not know you but know of you thru Cheri’s mom. We are still praying for you and so glad you have come this far God bless you and the surgeons doing your work.

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